i put in an udpates tab cause it looks bomb and it save you from doing the work!

updates yay

Blue Ivy reacting to seeing herself on the screen during Beyonce’s VMA performance.

timtampon:

I was talking to my friend on the phone and then she almost got run over and i was obviously really concerned so i asked her if she was okay and after a moment she replied “there is a Jesus in the sky” in a really matter-of-fact sort of way
so obviously I thought something was seriously wrong butimage

sheislezmerlda:

sarahmac2301:

Girl: I don’t date boys

Lesbian:

image

Girl: I date men

Lesbian: 

image

Lmao this made me giggle so bad

leightimtam:

straightprivileges:

terms to use instead of sex (which is a bad word don’t use it):

  • the do
  • dingle dangle
  • frick frack
  • fondue
  • woohoo
  • happy happy fun time
  • coitus 
  • fornication 
  • copulation
  • intercourse

I actually made a friend by saying “hey you’re hot, so let’s fornicate”

a-creepy-weirdo-has:

bitcheslovemyjingleballs:

a-creepy-weirdo-has:

what do birds do 

image

I apologise for my ignorance, birds are important

worshiptheband:

wow im just going to leave this here

pokebae:

pokebae:

someone tell me a joke

image

420calum:

So at work yesterday we only had pink spoons to hand out for the frozen yogurt and every male asked if we had a different color spoon because they did not like pink and it’s femininity and lemme tell u that this proves boys are weak and a fuckjng pink spoon proved that

freshest-tittymilk:

portraits-of-america:

     “I got both of them from local shelters. When I got her in 2006, the staff told me she was a shepherd husky. I go to the dog park, I’m meeting people with shepherd husky mixes, and they look nothing like her. I get in my car, I’m driving, I look in the rearview mirror, I see these eyes and I’m like, I’ve got a wolf in my car. Then, when she was 10-months old, there was a shepherd breeder and trainer in the dog park, and at the end of the lesson, the trainer came up to me and asked, ‘What kind of dog is that?’ And I’m thinking, Shepherd husky. You should know, you are a breeder. She said, ‘That’s a wolf.’” 

Bethlehem, PA

 

Thats mildly hilarious